What Could've Been
by warblerslushie
Summary: A series of what-if drabbles based on my story 'When We're Older'. Kurt and Blaine are expecting their first child, but things don't go to plan, especially since Kurt's not sure if he even wants kids. MPREG.
1. Chapter 1

What Could've Been

**Disclaimer: I'm not RIB, so I don't own Glee or any of the characters. If I did, I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfiction! This fic is an MPREG fic, so I'll be using my go-to MPREG explanation like I did in _When We're Older_ aka the Reddin gene. The gene is based on the Reddin character from the 1994 movie _Junior_. You should really watch it if you like mpreg. It's a good movie, I promise (I also don't have any rights to it either!) I also don't really own anything mentioned in this except for the crazy storyline so... I OWN NOTHING.**

**Warning: Please read WHEN WE'RE OLDER before you read this (as this is a WHAT-IF drabble based on chapters 14-16 of that story.) You can read this alone, but you will probably be confused by what happened, but if you have read WWO, read on! Also, I'm warning you that there's a minor character death in this chapter (TW: miscarriage.) Sorry guys.**

* * *

**[PROMPT: What if Blaine lost the pregnancy after he fainted at Finn and Rachel's house?]**

* * *

"I'm very sorry. We tried what we could, but there was nothing we could do."

A gasp came from his left (Rachel) and he could hear his brother's quiet _Oh god no_ on his other side, but other than that, the rest of the world went silent minus the roar that was filling Kurt's ears. He looked straight ahead at the doctor before him and he could see the pity in the older man's eyes, but even though the man looked sympathetic, it was obvious that his facial expression was nothing but a well-practiced mask, one used to break bad news to unsuspecting family members in stuffy waiting rooms.

This guy, this _doctor_, was the one who tried to save the life that Blaine carried, the life that was suddenly snatched away after an unexpected fall. The baby was gone, a life now lost, and Kurt felt so, so sick as he stared at the doctor's sad expression.

"You're lying," he whispered, voice cracking. Finn's hand fell onto his shoulder, but Kurt shrugged him off and blinked rapidly, the thick layer of tears that blurred his sight finally slipping and cascading down his face. He sucked his lower lip in between his teeth and shook his head, willing the pain that was spreading through his whole body to just _go_. "This- _this_... you're lying."

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

The doctor turned away to give the small family a moment and once he was gone, Kurt wrapped his arms around his waist and broke down, harsh, heaving sobs ripping from his throat as he fell to his knees. Finn and Rachel were at his side in an instant, softly murmuring things to him to try to calm him down, but it was of no use. He knew they thought they were soothing him because he was upset that he just lost his unborn child, but what they didn't know was that most of his emotional meltdown came from the intense guilt he felt over what happened.

It was all his fault; it just _had _to be.

He was so scared over becoming a dad that he pushed Blaine away and it backfired. By ignoring his husband, he let the other man fall apart and become ill. By shoving Blaine away, he stressed out his husband to the point that the younger man's body shut down... and he lost their baby. Blaine lost _their_ baby because of _him_, because of _Kurt._

Sobbing, Kurt leaned into Finn's embrace and did the only thing he could do: _allow the guilt to swallow him whole_.

:::::::::

_"Oh my God, Blaine - fuck off!"_

_"Seriously. I don't even want to hear that crap about you working. You work in a fucking ____coffee shop__. You make ____coffee f__or people - something you could easily do here! It's not like it's ____rocket science __or anything!"_

_"Jesus, it's not even like you need a degree to brew a pot of coffee - ____not like your NYADA degree would help that anyhow __- and you're acting like it's the hardest job in the world! Hell, it's barely even a real job!"_

::::::::::

_The words that he screamed at Blaine a week before still burned at his skin like a raging fire, but the ache he felt from breaking his husband's heart only increased due to the sounds he could hear through the closed bathroom door._

_Blaine was ill again (the second time that week) and through the closed door, Kurt could hear him crying in between his bouts of sickness. Blaine's muffled sobs traveled through the thin walls like the saddest music and Kurt himself felt nauseous every single time he heard the noises of his husband retching into the toilet. However, he didn't check on Blaine once even though his heart was screaming at him to apologize and make sure his husband was okay._

_For almost an hour, Kurt stood outside the bathroom, arms locked around his waist as he debated over whether or not to open the door and see if Blaine was alright. But after a while of fighting with himself (and listening to Blaine cry), he backed away and finished getting ready for work, leaving the second he could. He didn't pause to make sure Blaine was alright, nor did he even say goodbye, he just left._

_He didn't know the next time he'd see his husband was when the other man was unconscious in a hospital bed._

::::::::::

The room Blaine was in was dark and cold. The curtains were open, showing off the nighttime sky and outside, the heavens swirled with fluffy, dark grey clouds as a winter storm passed through. It was the same storm that had been raging earlier, but now it was pouring down the snow, covering the city with layers of slick ice, slush, and misery. Most people would be indoors bundled up at that moment (as they were advised to be), but Kurt was still sitting vigil next to Blaine in the ICU, alone with his thoughts minus the soft breathing of his unconscious husband and the steady beeping of the machines strapped to the injured man. Finn and Rachel tried to stay at the hospital for Kurt (and Blaine's) sake, but they ended up heading home before things began shutting down due to the storm. Especially since Kurt insisted that they go before things got too rough. He also wanted them to contact everyone to let them know the news because he was sure he'd be unable to, so they left with hugs and promises to return soon. Kurt didn't really care though. His heart was elsewhere, as were his thoughts.

Outside, the wind howled viciously, bringing a surge of noise into his ears, and Kurt blinked his puffy, red eyes against the darkness, ignoring the searing pain that blistered around his tear-raw eyelids. He had cried for hours after finding out the news that the life he and Blaine created was gone and now, hours later, he was still teary-eyed while he waited for Blaine to wake up.

God, the damage from the fall was devastating.

Obviously, the worst outcome occurred - the baby died, but Blaine also took a lot of injuries as well. When he fell, he hit the ground _hard_ and landed on his stomach and arm, causing his shoulder to dislocate. However, while his arm was injured, his stomach was the one that received the brunt of it all, causing him to suffer from a placental abruption. After his fall, Finn and Rachel did all they could by getting the EMTs there and getting Blaine to the hospital, but by the time they arrived, it was too late. The doctors couldn't find a heartbeat for the baby and Blaine was rushed into surgery to stop the bleeding that was occuring due to the abruption.

According to the doctor on-call, Blaine lost a lot of blood during the surgery and they were worried they were going to lose him too, but miraculously, he pulled through. Whether or not he'd wake up soon was another story...

Sniffling, Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine's good hand and let his gaze fall onto the barely there swell of his husband's stomach. It was flatter now than it was before thanks to the surgery and a knot lodged itself in Kurt's throat as he thought of Blaine waking up to find out that he was no longer pregnant. Blaine had been so excited about the thought of having a baby; it was like it was his dream and then it was just snatched away, just like that.

And Kurt wanted nothing more than to just go back in time and fix this.

::::::::::

Two days went by and Blaine was still very, very weak.

The snowstorm was over, the roads were clear, and Burt, Carole, and Cooper all flew in to New York to be with the couple, but Kurt never left Blaine's side and Blaine wasn't able to have visitors so the family just stayed in the waiting room most of the time, consoling each other over what happened.

It was nearly 56 hours after his fall when Blaine woke up completely, this time staying awake longer than the usual minute or so that he was waking up for. This time when he awoke, he seemed more attentive and scared and immediately Kurt broke down, the strength he had hoped to have upon Blaine's re-emergence to consciousness crumbling when he saw the fear in Blaine's golden eyes.

"What- the baby?" Blaine asked, eyes wide as his non-injured hand jerked out of Kurt's to feel his stomach. He hissed in pain when his fingers trailed too low towards the bandages that covered the staples from his emergency surgery. It only took him a second to realize and he ran his fingers along the line of bumpy, bandaged metal again, eyes widening in complete terror. "Kurt?!"

"I'm so sorry," Kurt choked out, looking away from the bed to stare at the wall, tears steadily running down his face as he sobbed. Beside him, Blaine went completely still before he suddenly began wailing, a horrible, _horrible_ sound that Kurt had _never_ heard (and never wanted to hear again) and he broke down some more, knowing that the pain he felt wasn't anywhere close to the anguish his husband was going through right now.

::::::::::

A few hours after Blaine woke up, he was right back to being unconscious again - this time thanks to the sedatives the nurses were forced to give him after he hyperventilated himself into a position where he messed up his IV as well as his staples. Kurt had been terrified at the time, watching his husband cry and bleed and not being able to do anything but then the room was abuzz with people and Blaine was put out like a light, then dragged away to be repaired again, his blood still seeping through the hospital gown as they wheeled him away.

Now he was resting again, dark circle-rimmed eyes closed and mouth slack as he breathed in and out. He looked sickly and exhausted and Kurt felt so guilty staring at the ridiculous amount of gauze wrapped around Blaine's hand to protect it after it was messed up following his meltdown. As he watched his husband sleep, he thought about everything that happened over the last few days and how they probably weren't going to bounce back from it. At least not so quickly. Blaine was obviously going to need some sort of therapy after the loss of the baby; Kurt was going to need it too because the guilt he felt at that moment was something too heavy to describe.

He felt at fault. He was completely at fault in his mind and seeing Blaine suffer like this because of _him_ broke his heart into a million pieces.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into Blaine's hair, brushing back the dark curls from his husband's forehead to look down at the younger man's face. He kissed the tip of Blaine's nose and wiped away the few tears that fell from his eyes and onto Blaine's pale cheeks. "I never meant for this to happen."

He meant that - he never wanted something like that to happen. But it did.

_It did._

::::::::::

The next time Blaine woke up, he was quiet, _stoic_.

He stared up at the ceiling for hours, ignoring the greetings given to him by doctors, nurses, and family alike. Kurt still stayed by his side, but Blaine didn't even notice him, instead he was way too occupied by the tiles on the wall. For hours, his lips moved but only soft, hissing whispers slipped from them and they weren't of anything in particular, not a prayer or a song or anything. Just quiet words that Kurt couldn't even understand. He tried, oh did he try, but nothing Blaine was murmuring clicked, and it wasn't until Blaine had been awake for several hours that the other man even acknowledged Kurt was in the room.

It was getting dark out when Blaine turned to him and said only one thing, his voice as steady and sure as it had ever been.

"Go."

::::::::::

After that, Kurt stayed home.

Burt and Carole did their best to try to help him keep his mind off of things, but it didn't work. There were things scattered all over the apartment that screamed _BABY_ and they haunted Kurt like no other.

The baby's first ultrasound photo (the one Kurt kept at his office but brought home after the miscarriage) was now sitting on the unoccupied side of the bed, the side where Blaine usually slept. Kurt stared at it for hours, heart aching at the knowledge that this unborn child would never been known to them.

And now he knew they were having a boy, a _son_.

Their first child would have been a little boy. But he was now a child of dreams, _an angel, _Carole said, knowing damn well that Kurt didn't believe in God or heaven or anything, but he knew she was just trying to soothe his aching soul. It didn't work, that much was for sure, but she tried... and so did Burt.

However, nothing helped. Blaine was back at the hospital with Cooper and Kurt was at the apartment, alone. His parents might have been there, but he never felt so alone as he did at that moment, sitting in the bedroom with a framed ultrasound scan in his lap, fingers running along the pictured little humanoid blob in the center of the photo.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt your dad like I did too. I never- I _never_ thought I'd be a good dad, not ever, and I never thought I'd be ready for kids, but I never, _ever_ wanted this to happen. Not to you. Not to your dad or me or anyone. I- I'm... I'm _so_ sorry."

He set the photo to the side and dropped his head into his hands, immediately bawling into them as his soul finally began to mourn for the _son_ he would never get to know.

::::::::::

Blaine was released from the hospital a week after he woke up.

Cooper brought him home and Carole and Burt did their best to give their son-in-law space, but Blaine wasn't looking for that kind of space, he wanted more. That afternoon when he walked in the door, he stumbled right past his in-laws and right into the bedroom, carefully dropping down to sit on the bed next to Kurt.

Kurt couldn't help but notice the dead look in his husband's eyes and he knew what was coming before Blaine even moved a muscle. "I'm sorry," he whispered, watching as Blaine's thin fingers twisted at his wedding band.

"Me too," Blaine said back, pulling the ring off as well as he could with his bandaged hand and dropping it between them, letting it bounce against the comforter before it settled into a dip in the blanket.

From there he stood up and left, walking right out of the door with Cooper, and once he was gone, Kurt picked up his ring and held it against his chest, allowing his dad to pull him into his arms when he began to cry.

::::::::::

Every night after the day Blaine left, Kurt had dreams, dreams about him and Blaine raising a little boy who looked like the perfect mix of the two of them. He didn't have a name, but he was the most adorable child Kurt had ever seen. Then he would wake up all alone - no Blaine, no child who looked like them, and the world would come crashing back down on him.

Blaine had left. He went to live with Cooper and there were papers for Kurt to look at and sign that were sitting on his coffee table in the living room. He had an attorney now and Jennycat was gone, now living with Blaine in Rhode Island until the divorce was settled and Blaine went wherever he was planning on heading.

They were over. Blaine was gone.

And according to their circle of friends, Blaine wasn't doing too well at all. He didn't eat, he barely slept, and he looked sickly.

Kurt was the opposite. He started sleeping in more and when he woke, he ate whatever he could find just to keep his mind off of things. The eating was to help him cope, the sleeping seemed to make things worse however. The dreams he had while sleeping only made him miss Blaine and their dead unborn child even more and he felt guiltier by the day.

_If he only would've taken better care of Blaine. If he only would've kept his mouth shut instead of flipping out on his husband. If he only... if only..._

::::::::::

Kurt leaned back against a tree, his shoulders grating against the rough bark as he rested and people watched. Droves of people were out enjoying the surprisingly forgiving cool day, young kids holding hands with their parents while they walked through the park and laughed amongst themselves. There were tons of parents and kids out, the sight making Kurt's heart ache, but he stayed still in his spot, eyes still watchfully observing the way everyone acted.

To his right was a young couple and their toddler-aged daughter having a picnic. The woman was heavily pregnant and smiling while her boyfriend/husband/whatever doted on her and her belly. She kept on giggling at him, pushing him away with a squeal of "_Jack_!" before he'd lean back in and peck a kiss on her stomach followed by a kiss to their daughter's cheek as well. It was nauseatingly cute but it also made Kurt think of the things he wasn't able to do with Blaine. How he wasn't able to feel their son kick or be able to curl up behind his husband - no, _ex-_husband - and hold him close.

God, he and Blaine had been over for almost two years now and there wasn't a day that went by that Kurt didn't think of him... of their past.

They had no contact anymore. Blaine couldn't handle it, according to their mutual friends, and from what Kurt had heard from Rachel, Blaine moved across the country with Cooper as soon as their divorce was finalized. His ex still kept in touch with some of their friends, but he didn't tell them much, just that he was surviving... whatever that meant. But according to some of their old friends, Blaine looked lost, frail, and broken.

Kurt didn't blame him. He felt the same way.

After they were no longer legally husbands, Kurt threw himself back into his work, taking on long hours at Vogue to keep his mind busy. Sleeping and pigging out only made him hurt more, so he worked himself to death, constantly busy in the office finishing deadlines weeks before they were due. His friends and family begged him to tone it down but he couldn't, not when he came home to an empty apartment every night and spent all of his time alone.

He didn't date, he didn't go out, he just stayed in and spent time with his thoughts mostly.

Today, however, was an unusual occurrence for him. It was such a nice day that Kurt couldn't help but venture out. He had been locked away for so long and he needed the fresh air, so he went out into the world. Unfortunately, seeing all these happy people and their families made him wish that he would've picked a gloomier day to go out instead. All the happiness that surrounded him made him miss Blaine even more than he usually did.

Which was_ a lot_.

Sighing, he slid down the length of the tree and sat on one of the enormous roots below him, dragging his legs up to rest his chin on his knees. More people passed by, not paying any attention to the quiet, brooding man sitting against the tree trunk, but as the time passed, one person seemed to be staring at Kurt from across the way. Kurt didn't notice them at first, but after several minutes of feeling like he was being watched, he looked up and found himself staring at a vaguely familiar silhouette.

_Oh god_.

Cooper Anderson was staring back at him, eyes wide when he realized Kurt caught him looking. Both men watched each other closely, warily keeping an eye on one another. From what Kurt could see, Cooper looked _older_. His wavy brown hair was flecked with grey streaks and he was wearing dark-rimmed glasses. He looked very much like a seasoned actor, of which Kurt knew he was because he knew Cooper had shot a few mildly successful movies during the last few years, but nonetheless, it was still a shock to see him there. He continued to stare at his former brother-in-law, mentally critiquing the man's outfit, when someone came up to Cooper's side carrying two brightly colored frozen drinks.

_Oh..._

_Blaine_.

Kurt's heart leapt into his throat at the sight of his ex-husband standing only a few feet away. The other man looked thinner, his skin lighter than Kurt ever remembered it being, and when Blaine noticed his brother looking at someone and turned around to lock eyes with Kurt, it was noticeable how much Blaine had changed.

His amber eyes were darker; they were a burnt sugar, dark caramel color instead of their usual swirling golden/green, and around his eyes were puffy bruises, evidence of a lack of sleep and maybe malnourishment. Blaine's shorter frame was hunched as well, making him look smaller and more breakable, and from what Kurt could see from their distance apart, Blaine was horrifyingly thin, his form looking sickly and very bony.

"Oh Blaine..."

Heart racing and without a care, Kurt pushed himself off of the ground, jogging across the park until he came face to face with his ex-husband and ex-brother-in-law. The two Anderson brothers stared at him with matching expressions: lost and fearful, and Kurt swallowed thickly before he spoke.

"Hi."

"Kurt," Cooper nodded his head at him and Kurt turned to look at Blaine, frowning when his ex's eyes darted away from him to look at the grass below their feet. Kurt let his gaze drop as well and felt tears spring to his eyes when he noticed the bones of Blaine's ankles and wrists standing out so knobby against his pale skin.

He looked so frail. So, so frail.

"What are you guys doing in New York?"

"Kurt, I really don't think-"

"Coop, can you give us a moment?" Blaine interrupted, his voice just a breath of a whisper. Cooper seemed shocked at his little brother's question, but he just clutched his cherry slush drink and jerked his head to the side, letting Blaine know that he was going to take a seat on an empty bench not too far from where they were standing. Once the eldest Anderson brother was gone, Blaine looked up, letting his tired eyes meet Kurt's as the two of them looked at each other fully for the first time in almost two years. "You look good," Blaine said softly, looking Kurt up and down.

"You too."

"Don't lie to me. I know what I look like."

"Blaine-"

"Cooper, he's... he's shooting a movie and had to shoot a few scenes here. He... he didn't want to leave me alone in LA so he brought me along. It's- it's pathetic, right? That a man in his mid-forties has to drag his thirty-something-year-old brother along with him while filming because his brother doesn't know what to do with himself anymore."

"Oh honey," Kurt whispered, ignoring the endearing term that slipped from his lips. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and take Blaine's hands within his own, to warm up the chilled flesh of his ex's fingertips and hold him close, but he couldn't do that anymore. Blaine wasn't his. "I... I've missed you."

"I know. I... miss you too."

"Can I hug you? Please?"

Blaine looked down at his hands, one clutching his frozen drink, and he shrugged. "You don't have to. You don't have to feel sorry for me, Kurt. I'm not even sure why you came over here."

"I told you I missed you. Blaine, I... I never wanted this to happen. You know that, right?"

Blaine's silence told Kurt everything: he _didn't_ know. It just showed that no matter what, things were always going to be awkward between them after what happened two years ago. Shaking his head, Kurt stepped forward, carefully slipping his arms around Blaine and pulling him close. He stifled back a sob that threatened to spill from his throat when he tugged his ex-husband into his arms and felt nothing but bones and sun-warmed skin press back against him. Blaine was still in his arms, his breathing coming in a bit more labored now, and Kurt sniffled, squeezing a little tighter as Blaine stood there.

"You're so thin."

More silence.

"I'm sorry. That was rude. I shouldn't have said that."

"You aren't the first," Blaine mumbled quietly and this time Kurt did have to bite back a rather embarrassingly loud sob. He hugged Blaine tighter and rested his head against his ex's warm hair.

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted this for us."

"It's not your fault. It was mine."

"Don't say that. Just... _don't,_" Kurt hissed as he slightly pulled away. "It was mine. _I_ was the one who broke us, _I_ was the one who ignored you when you needed me the most-"

"I was the one who skipped the doctor's appointment."

"That doesn't matter!" Kurt cried, ignoring the looks of curious bystanders. Cooper was up and walking towards them at a quick pace, but Kurt paid him no mind, continuing to stare at his ex-husband with tears streaming down his cheeks. "You needed me and I wasn't there. I broke my promise to protect you and watch over you and it's my fault we lost the baby."

"Kurt-"

"I'm so sorry. I just- I didn't mean for that to happen. I was so scared back then!" He sniffled and went to wipe at his eyes with a balled up fist, the other hand curled tight in the back of Blaine's shirt. He rubbed the tears away and stared down at Blaine, heart aching at the dead look in his ex's eyes. "After... after the miscarriage and after you left, I- I didn't know what to do. I missed you so much. God, I miss you _now_ and fuck... Blaine, I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry for the way I treated you because you deserved _so_ much better than that!"

Blaine dropped his gaze to the ground and Kurt hiccuped back more tears, reaching up to brush his thumbs under the dark circles beneath Blaine's eyes.

"I did this to you. I ruined us and I hurt you," he whispered, voice shaking as he cupped Blaine's hollow cheeks in his hands.

"I hurt myself."

"No. _No_, honey, you didn't-" Before Kurt had the chance to continue speaking, a voice popped up from behind him.

"Blaine? Hey, come on. We should get going." Cooper said as he reached out and took his brother's arm, blatantly ignoring Kurt's pained look as Blaine stepped out of his ex-husband's arms and went to stand beside his big brother. It was such an awkward situation for the three of them, just standing there in a public area with people watching them as Kurt and Blaine struggled to communicate the pain between them.

Kurt wiped away the wetness from his face as he stared at his ex-family and he wanted nothing more than to somehow travel back in time and _fix_ everything. It wasn't right, seeing Blaine and Cooper as his _former_ family, and as he watched the two of them prepare to walk away, he knew he couldn't let them out of his sight.

"Wait!"

Cooper turned, Blaine following his brother's lead, and the two of them caught Kurt's wide, pained look as the other man struggled to pull his phone from his back pocket. "Kurt, what are you-"

"How long are you going to be in the city?"

"I don't think-"

"Please. Just... please let me buy you dinner or something. I just... please?"

Blaine looked down at his frozen drink, still clutched tightly in his fingers. His entire hand was numb but he barely noticed it thanks to the dull ache that was racing through his body due to seeing Kurt again. He glanced back up at his ex-husband and caught the pained look in Kurt's eyes, especially the way the older man's facial expression read _want_ and _fear_. He wanted them to say yes, but he was scared they'd say no.

"Do you... do you still live at-"

"I moved. I moved not long after the divorce. I couldn't- I couldn't stay there any longer," Kurt admitted, sniffling a bit as he fought not to cry again. Cooper watched the two men carefully, waiting for a moment where he'd have to intervene, but Blaine shook his head.

"I understand."

"I just- if you don't want to do dinner, maybe we could get coffee? I just... I'd like to talk to you some more. I know I don't have the right to ask, but I miss you, Blaine. I miss you so much."

Out of the corner of his eye, Blaine saw Cooper begin to open his mouth to speak; Kurt also saw the movement and he whimpered, his body shuddering as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. The whole sight made Blaine feel even more lost than before because he wanted nothing more than to soothe Kurt, but he couldn't help but remember how alone he felt before and after the miscarriage.

"Kurt, I- I don't know."

"We could meet up for lunch and if you aren't comfortable, you can leave whenever you want. I promise. Please?"

"Kurt," Cooper warned, his voice low, but Blaine put his free hand on his brother's arm to silence him. When Coop quieted, Blaine handed him his slushie and went to pull his phone from his back pocket, holding it out to Kurt once he got it unlocked.

"I don't have your number."

Kurt nodded, his shoulder sagging in relief, and he took Blaine's fore-offered phone, punching his number in before he handed it back. His hands were trembling and when his fingers brushed Blaine's as he dropped the phone in his hand, he noticed Blaine's were shaking too. "Thank you."

"We should get going," Cooper whispered, leaning close to his brother and sliding Blaine's drink into his hand before he placed a steady hand on his younger brother's back. "It was nice seeing you again, Kurt."

That was a lie and they all knew it, but no one said anything. Blaine blinked at his ex, his dark, emotionless eyes giving Kurt a once-over before he offered the man a slight wave, and then he was off down the park with Cooper, neither man turning to look at Kurt once they got a certain distance away from him. As soon as they were out of his sight, Kurt stumbled over to a vacant bench and collapsed on it, finally allowing the pent-up emotions within him to spill out in broken sobs. Some park-goers came to check on him, but he shooed them away and continued to bawl, heaving into his hands as his mind replayed how thin and broken Blaine had become. Kurt's skin still burned with the feeling of Blaine's small form pressed against his, bones sticking out here and there, and he choked on a sob, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

If he had been able to see the future years ago, he never would have let it come to this. Never.

Sniffling, he finally wiped away the last of his tears and spent the next few hours alone on the park bench. The sun began to set and people were leaving when a soft buzz erupted by his thigh and Kurt quickly dug out his phone to check it. A text from an unknown number appeared and he opened it, heart stopping when he saw the message inside. It was from Cooper.

_I don't think he can do dinner. Not yet. I'm sorry. It was too much for him at once. Someday maybe, but not right now. Sorry._

Kurt's heart fell as he read it, the tears beginning to start up again. He went to click his phone off and put it away so he could walk home and drown his sorrows in a few shots, but then it buzzed again, another text from a different number showing up on his screen. This time he didn't hesitate when he unlocked it, eyes instantly darting down to read it. And in that moment, Kurt wished he would've ignored the text, just seeing the words on his screen felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart and left him there to die all over again.

_Liam Elijah. That's what I would have named him._

* * *

**A/N: This has been sitting on my computer for ages and while I fought with myself about posting it, I could never find the right time. However, my computer is on it's death bed and I'm trying to clear out some of the things I've written on it so I can move the other stuff onto a flash drive (since I don't have an external hard drive.) This is one of the things I decided to post and maybe it can become a thing - like a prompt related fic that pertains to 'what if' moments that could have happened during various chapters of WWO? So, umm, let me know what you thought and if there's something based on WWO that you'd like me to write (for example: what if Blaine stayed living with Cooper and had the baby in LA?... or something like that.) Just drop me a line. Also, I'm sorry that this was so depressing; I was in a pretty dark mindset when I wrote this a long time ago.**


	2. Chapter 2

What Could've Been

**Disclaimer: I'm not RIB, so I don't own Glee or any of the characters. If I did, I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfiction! This fic is an MPREG fic, so I'll be using my go-to MPREG explanation like I did in _When We're Older_ aka the Reddin gene. The gene is based on the Reddin character from the 1994 movie _Junior_. You should really watch it if you like mpreg. It's a good movie, I promise (I also don't have any rights to it either!) I also don't really own anything mentioned in this except for the crazy storyline so... I OWN NOTHING.**

**Warning: Please read WHEN WE'RE OLDER before you read this (as this is a WHAT-IF drabble that comes after events in Chapter 13.) TW: Shooting.**

* * *

**[Prompt: What if Blaine never got sick and collapsed? What would have been Kurt's wake-up call then?]**

* * *

"Man, I will be _so_ glad when it's closing time. I have so much homework to do tonight."

Blaine smiled over at his co-worker and went to box up the leftover pastries, his ears still trained on Myra's words as the college girl ranted and raved about one of her professors. He remembered those days, working his ass off for a good grade while worrying about whether or not he was going to make rent that month. He and Kurt worked hard during their years in college and while it was rough, they made it through.

Of course, now Kurt thought Blaine was wasting his degree on a pathetic coffee shop job as he expressed the night before during a pretty intense fight. But Blaine wasn't going to dwell on his husband's words any longer. He cried it out last night and moved on, confident that he wasn't going to let Kurt's words get under his skin.

They did though. They always would.

Sighing, he finished closing up the boxes of sweets and patted his belly where his _son's _foot nudged his side. Myra caught him rubbing his side and she grinned, "I can't believe you're having a little boy. He's going to be so cute! What did Kurt think when you found out?"

_Kurt wasn't there_. "Oh, he was excited," Blaine lied, offering the girl a shy smile before he turned and went to clean out the espresso machine. "I think he was hoping for a girl, but he's still happy."

"That's great. You guys are going to make great parents."

"Thank you. I hope so."

::::::::::

_"Well, congratulations Mr. Anderson-Hummel, it looks like you're going to have a little boy."_

_Blaine sucked in a deep breath and blinked back the tears that filled his eyes. Dr. Banes smiled at him and clicked a button to capture a few pictures of the baby, snapping shot after shot of the tiny guy moving around in the womb. As she continued documenting the baby's growth, Blaine closed his eyes and let his thoughts trail to where Kurt was at and why his husband was missing this pivotal moment. God, Blaine had waited so long for Kurt to just show up and his husband didn't... and Blaine just couldn't miss this appointment. He needed his shots and it was a huge day for him (them, really) so he went, all the while hoping and praying that Kurt would show up at the clinic._

_He didn't and once again, Blaine was doing everything alone._

::::::::::

"It's almost ten! Can I lock the doors now?"

"Almost. Give Derek a second to come back from break and we'll lock the doors and finish up."

Myra nodded, disappearing back to the storage part of the store to put a few boxes of disposable cups away so they didn't clutter the front. As soon as she left, Blaine leaned against the counter and pressed a hand to his aching hip - the spot where he'd gotten his shot the day before hurt like a bitch and it definitely didn't help that he'd been on his feet all day working. Soon though, he'd be done and heading home and he could climb in bed to soothe his aching joints.

_Just five more minutes_.

The sound of the bell above the door dinging brought Blaine back from his thoughts about sleep and he turned, ready to offer their last minute customer a hello. However, he froze on the spot when he came face to face with a trembling, nervous-looking teenager who was wielding a handgun. The teen's face was uncovered and Blaine could see the fear in the boy's dark brown eyes; he was terrified and deep down, so was Blaine.

"Are you-"

"I want all of the money out of the register. All of it." The boy waved his gun towards the device and flicked his eyes back up at Blaine, a scowl painting his face as he waited for the man to move. "Come on! Hurry! I ain't got all day."

"Okay. Okay, just don't hurt anyone," Blaine said softly, carefully punching in a coffee order so that the register would unlock and pop open. Once it did, he quickly began pulling wads of cash from the register, his fingers shaking horribly as he dropped the money into the backpack that the teen had set on the counter.

"I want all of it. Even the stuff under the drawer," the kid yelled. Even though he tried to sound forceful, his voice still shook with fear and Blaine wondered if this boy was doing this all by himself or if he was being forced by someone. "Hurry up! Come on!"

As fast as he could, Blaine pulled the drawer apart and went for the bigger bills beneath. He knew Barbara, his boss and owner of the shop, would be furious that a day's earnings were going to some punk kid, but he also knew that she valued the safety of her employees and wouldn't want anything to happen to them. But most of all, Blaine was sure that when it came down to it, he'd hand over _anything_ to keep him and his family safe.

"Are you done yet?"

"Yeah, almost."

It was as he was dumping the last of the big bills into the bag that Myra came dancing around the corner, her headphones in her ears and attention completely _not_ on Blaine or the kid that was currently robbing their workplace.

"Who the fuck is that?" The teen raised his gun towards Myra and Blaine yelled, catching the girl's attention. She spun around and froze in shock, surprised to see a handgun pointing straight at her.

"Oh my god."

"I don't know who you are, but don't you dare move or I'll shoot both of you."

Myra's eyes immediately filled with tears and Blaine wanted nothing more than to go over and calm her down, but he couldn't because the gun unfortunately came back to focusing on him and the fact that he hadn't yet put all the money in the bag.

"Put the rest of that fucking money in there before the cops get here. Jesus, are you slow?"

"I'm sorry," Blaine apologized, finishing up his job. He stuffed the last few dollars from the register in the bag and then stepped back, hands in the air as he closed his eyes and prayed for the kid to just leave or for help to arrive. Despite his hopes though, he knew help wasn't coming. Neither he nor Myra had the chance to call the police and their other co-worker Derek had taken a very late break, so he was off somewhere and wouldn't be back for another minute or two.

_Fucking Derek._

"Is that everything?" The boy asked, lowering his gun to step forward and look at the bag. Blaine told him it was, that the money was everything they had in the shop, and the kid looked pleased with himself, his tense shoulders lowering as he zipped up the bag and threw it over his shoulder. "Great." He turned to walk out of the store, gun seconds away from going back in the pocket that he pulled it from when the wail of police sirens filled the air. Horrified, the boy turned back, eyes wide and expression angry as he whipped his gun back out and pointed it at Blaine once more. "Which one of you called the fucking cops?!"

"We didn't! We've been here with you the whole time!"

"No, you haven't! _She_ was in the back! You called the cops, you fucking bitch!" And then he turned the gun on Myra, pulling the trigger without hesitation. Myra screamed as the bullet hit her in the leg and she went down crying. The boy who shot her started to panic, eyes watering in shock that he _shot_ someone, and he turned towards Blaine again. "I didn't... I didn't-" He stuttered out, shaking his head. "You saw it. You saw me shoot her." Then he raised the gun again.

"No please," Blaine cried, pleading. He tucked his arms protectively over his belly and shook his head, wishing that this kid would just run off. Myra was on the floor wailing and holding her leg, he could see red and blue flashing lights outside... and there was also the barrel of a smoking gun pointed directly at him. "Please don't. I'm pregnant. Please."

There was a flash of recognition in the boy's eyes as his gaze flicked from Blaine's face to his belly. For a moment, Blaine thought he'd leave him alone, that he would run off and flee before the cops got there. But he didn't.

He lifted the gun a little higher and pulled the trigger anyway.

::::::::::

_Where is he? He should've been home an hour ago._

Kurt stretched out on the couch and stared at his phone, eyes narrowing as he flicked through the last few calls on his phone. There were several from Rachel asking if he and Blaine were still coming to dinner in a few days. There was one from his dad just wanting to talk... and there were none from Blaine. Sure, Kurt expected that. He and Blaine had a terrible fight the night before and Kurt said some things he _never_ should have said, so the idea that Blaine wasn't calling him because he was mad said _everything_.

But still, Kurt was worried because whenever Blaine worked night shift, he _always_ came home around fifteen 'til eleven... and here it was pushing midnight.

Sighing, the man set his phone back on the coffee table and closed his eyes, letting the stress of the last few days melt away as he listened to the sound of the streets below. For a while, he heard tons of sirens - probably another carjacking gone bad or some kind of showdown between taxi drivers, but now it was peaceful, silent minus a car horn here and there and the sounds of city-goers bustling around the streets.

Then his phone began to ring and Kurt perked up, rolling over to grab the vibrating device from the coffee table without checking the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Oh, I'm so glad you answered. Is everything okay?"

"Isabelle? ...what in the world are you talking about?"

"Blaine? Did he go to work today? I know you said he's been doing the morning shift but-"

As soon as Blaine's name slipped from his boss' lips, Kurt felt his blood run cold. Isabelle never called him to talk about _Blaine_, so why was she starting now? "Is, what happened? What are you talking about?"

"Oh. _Oh_, you don't know? Kurt, honey... are you sitting down?"

"Just tell me," Kurt ground out, running a hand through his hair as he stared across the room at a picture of him and Blaine. It was a photo from their honeymoon. They were standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, Blaine with his arms around Kurt's waist while Kurt had a protective arm around his new husband. _Where are you?_

"Kurt, I... there's been a shooting."

::::::::::

The amount of pain Blaine was in was bearable at the most, but it still sucked. The bullet only grazed his arm and took a chunk out of it, enough to require some serious stitches, but at least he didn't have a hole in his leg like Myra did. He was very thankful that the kid was spooked enough that he missed hitting Blaine in any major areas, but god it could have been so much worse.

Yawning, the man curled up on his side, careful to not bump his patched up arm, and he closed his eyes, wondering when the doctor would be in to see him so he could find out whether or not he'd be able to go home that night. According to the nurse, they were able to reach Kurt and he was on his way, but that wasn't that long ago and it would take him some time to make it over from their apartment to the hospital that was all the way across the city. With another yawn, he rubbed his stomach and made sure to not bump the monitors they'd strapped to his belly the second he arrived there - there were concerns that the baby could be distressed thanks to Blaine's fear throughout the whole ordeal. So far though, the baby seemed fine.

It was all Blaine could ask for.

He was moments away from falling asleep when the curtain that closed off his part of the room from the rest of the ward flew open and he popped open his eyes, surprised to see his husband (not the doctor like he was expecting) staring worriedly at him. Kurt's eyes were reddened and watery and he was visibly shaking.

"Blaine-"

"I'm okay."

"Oh my god," Kurt rushed forward, throwing his arms around his husband and holding the younger man tight. Blaine hissed a bit as pressure built up against his wound from Kurt's squeezing and Kurt quickly pulled back, eyes wide as he took in the bandaging that wrapped around his husband's upper arm. "Oh Blaine. Oh my god."

"It's okay. I'm fine. Really. I'm _fine_."

"You were shot."

"The bullet grazed my arm; it's nothing. I just got a few stitches. Myra got it worse; he hit her in the leg."

Kurt shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe Blaine was downplaying what happened to him. He spoke to Derek, Blaine's co-worker, out in the hall and the boy told him that some kid held up the shop. Derek just so happened to come back from break and spotted the boy wielding a gun right before he entered the shop, so he called the cops to let them know a robbery was in progress. The guy _never_ expected the gunman to get mad enough to just _shoot_ somebody, so when the kid pulled the trigger and shot both Myra _and_ Blaine, Derek went into shock. He was also there at the hospital being treated and luckily Kurt was able to get the story out of him before he found Blaine.

And now there he was, standing in front of his husband - his husband who'd just been _shot_, who'd been forced into giving up thousands of dollars to some punk teenager - and all Blaine could do was act like everything was okay. Like he and the baby were-

_Oh god, the baby_.

Kurt's eyes widened even more and he looked down at his husband's belly, tears filling his eyes when he noticed a few strange lumps underneath Blaine's hospital gown. "What-"

"Those are monitors for the baby. He's fine."

_He?_ "Did you say _he's_ fine?"

"Yeah. It's a boy. Umm, surprise?"

_It's a boy_. "Oh my god, Blaine. When did you find out? I-"

"Yesterday. I found out at my appointment yesterday." Blaine didn't say much after that. Instead, he dropped his gaze to the sheets covering his legs. Beside him, Kurt grew insanely quiet and Blaine knew he was remembering the appointment that he failed to show up for.

"Blaine-" Kurt reached out and took his husband's hand, lacing their fingers together as he squeezed Blaine's palm against his own. He sniffled a bit, shaking his head as he thought about what he'd done the day before; how he skipped out on meeting Blaine at the doctor because he was scared and how he went out for drinks with some of his co-workers instead. He remembered how he screamed at Blaine the night prior, how he demeaned his husband's job and made Blaine feel bad for just trying to make things work. And, the more he thought about everything, the more disgusted he was with himself. Because Blaine could've _died_ and then what? Where would Kurt have been if the bullet that grazed his husband's arm had hit a few inches to the left and hit him somewhere major? What would he have done if the gunman shot Blaine in the head instead of aiming at his shoulder?

Where would Kurt have been then?

A sob ripped from his throat and he pulled his hand out of Blaine's, quickly yanking the younger man against him as he held him tight and rocked him against his chest. "Oh _Blaine_. Blaine, I'm so sorry. I've been so stupid. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I never- I didn't mean what I said yesterday. God, what if you _died_ tonight? Those would have been the last words I ever said to you and you didn't deserve them! Oh god, Blaine-"

Blaine closed his eyes, nuzzling his face into Kurt's neck, breathing in the scent he feared he'd never smell again. The closeness he felt nestled against his husband was something he hadn't felt in so long and he relished in it, taking his uninjured arm and curling it around Kurt's broad back as he too held the love of his life close. "It's okay," he soothed, trying his hardest not to cry and break down. Kurt was quivering in his arms, quaking from the force of his sobs, and hearing his husband cry so freely made Blaine's heart twinge. _Maybe Kurt really was sorry?_ "Honey-"

Kurt pulled away, hands clambering to hold Blaine's face in his hands. He ran his thumbs underneath Blaine's closed eyes and wiped away the tears that logged his lashes. "I love you so much. I keep on hurting you and you keep on saying it's okay and it's not. It's really not." He leaned forward and kissed Blaine's warm forehead, dropping his head down to press their noses together. "It's not okay, what I've been doing. But I promise you that I'll make it up to you _and_ our son. I _promise_."

When Kurt said the words _our son,_ Blaine's heart fluttered and he smiled, opening his eyes to find his husband's eyes were closed once more, eyelashes stuck together with the many tears he had shed. A breathy laugh slipped from his lips and he kissed Kurt, smiling against the other man's lips as Kurt kissed back. "I love you too."

"I'm so, so glad you're okay. When Isabelle called-"

"_Isabelle_ called you?"

"She was out on a date when they saw the cop cars by your shop. I told her that you sometimes take night shifts and as soon as she saw the police tape and everything, she called me because she wanted to make sure you were okay. That's how I found out in the first place-"

"And that's how you got here so fast."

"I was already on my way over when the hospital called. I had to get here... I needed to know if you were okay or not." He reached out and touched Blaine's tender arm, frowning when his husband flinched a bit at the pressure. "God, I can't believe he shot you."

"He was a kid, Kurt. He couldn't have been older than sixteen... he was scared." Blaine glanced at his arm and sighed, "I kept on wondering if it was something gang related. I don't know, but he seemed terrified to be there. I don't think he wanted to hurt anyone. He panicked and that's why he shot Myra. Then when he shot at me, he hesitated. I told him about- about the baby and he moved the gun. He _missed_. I think he was aiming for my chest or shoulder and he missed." Emotion cracked his voice and he gasped, "God, he could've _killed_ me. I-"

"Shh, shh, honey. It's okay. You're going to be okay. You and the baby are fine. Myra's gonna be okay. You're safe. You're safe, I'm here, and I'm _never_ letting you go, okay?" Kurt hugged Blaine close, cheek against his husband's gelled hair. "Never ever, I promise."

The two of them held each other for the rest of the night until Blaine (and the baby) were deemed a-okay to head home the following day.

::::::::::

The weeks following the shooting were rough for Blaine.

There were nights when Kurt would wake up and find Blaine sitting up in bed, legs crossed underneath him as he stared at the wall with tears in his eyes. Those were the nights that he had nightmares about the robbery. Sometimes he dreamt he was back in high school hiding in the choir room with the rest of the the New Directions, much like he had done back in his senior year... except this time there was a real gunman in the school instead of what occurred back then. Those nights found Kurt holding Blaine close as his husband cried over seeing people being killed before his eyes - Kurt included; because for some odd reason Kurt always showed up in those dreams and replaced Myra or someone else. _Always_.

The stress he was under forced Blaine to quit working altogether even though his job at the coffee shop/bakery was lost for the time being since Barb shut the place down for a while after the robbery to give her employees some time to cope. His music tutoring job was over too since he was way too nervous to be around anyone at the moment, much less a bunch of kids and their parents. So, while he was unemployed, Kurt made sure he was well taken care of. Burt and Carole flew up as soon as they heard about the shooting and they kept Blaine company during the times Kurt was out at work. Finn and Rachel stopped by as well, bringing Blaine sweets and movies to watch during his downtime. All in all, the whole family came together after what happened and Kurt was thankful to have so many people in his life who cared.

Of course, he also stepped up his game, making sure Blaine and their growing child was well taken care of... and when Blaine showed signs of PTSD, he went with Blaine to the therapy appointments to help the love of his life overcome the pain he lived with every single day. It was while they were there that they also began to work on their marriage, including talking to a therapist about Kurt's issues at the beginning with the pregnancy and their minor separation right before Christmas.

These changes in their lives really made their marriage stronger in the long run. By the time July rolled around and the baby's due date came, the two of them were happier than they'd ever been.

Liam Elijah Anderson-Hummel was born in the middle of summer, months after Blaine had been shot, and he was healthy and perfect in every way. Kurt loved every little bit of their son. He adored Liam's curly hair and light eyes and he especially loved that the baby had _his_ nose. It was that pivotal moment in the hospital, holding his newborn son in his arms for the first time while Blaine lovingly (and sleepily) looked on, that made Kurt realize that it was _all _worth it.

The night that some scared teenager slipped into Blaine's work and shot him changed their lives forever, but it changed things for the better. That night, Kurt realized that he could've lost the one person he loved more than anything. He could've lost his husband, the love of his life, and ultimately, the father of his beautiful, amazing little boy. Liam was perfect, _Blaine _was perfect, and the fact that they were both still alive made Kurt feel so grateful that he hadn't lost what was important to him.

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?" The younger man was half-asleep, arms curled around his pillow as he sleepily watched his husband rock their son to sleep.

"I love you."

Blaine smiled, closing his eyes as he snuggled into the pillow. From across the room, Kurt could see the jagged scar that marred Blaine's arm and hugged Liam a little closer, thankful that his husband and son were perfectly healthy. "I love you too," Blaine whispered as he fell asleep and Kurt walked over, pressing his lips against Blaine's scalp, smiling against the warm skin that his lips met.

Months ago, he almost lost this, lost his family, and he'd never, _ever_ take them for granted again. _Ever._

* * *

**A/N: In the original rough drafts of WWO, I had the plan to have plan have Blaine quit his job at the cafe because of a robbery. This was BEFORE he found out he was pregnant. However, I scrapped the idea and left it alone. When I got this prompt, I thought 'Hey, now I can use the robbery idea!' Except instead of getting punched in the face like I'd planned from the beginning, Blaine got shot in this one. Yep, it's dramatic, but it works for me and I hope you liked it. Anyway, I got a few other prompts that I'm thinking about writing, but you can definitely send me some more! Thanks guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

What Could've Been

**Disclaimer: I'm not RIB, so I don't own Glee or any of the characters. If I did, I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfiction! This fic is an MPREG fic, so I'll be using my go-to MPREG explanation like I did in _When We're Older_ aka the Reddin gene. The gene is based on the Reddin character from the 1994 movie _Junior_. You should really watch it if you like mpreg. It's a good movie, I promise (I also don't have any rights to it either!) I also don't really own anything mentioned in this except for the crazy storyline so... I OWN NOTHING.**

**Warning: Please read WHEN WE'RE OLDER before you read this (as this is a WHAT-IF drabble that comes after events in Chapter 15/16.) Finn's mentioned in this too, just so you know.**

* * *

**[PROMPT: Kurt and Blaine break-up after the accident that landed Blaine in the hospital. Years later, they're both on their own, living separate lives. Then something happens.]**

* * *

Kurt just wasn't ready to be a father, plain and simple.

Nothing he did calmed his fears about impending fatherhood. No one he talked to could help him; no amount of therapy could cure him, cure the ails that plagued him night after night. No amount of sleeping pills or shots of vodka could stop him from having nightmares of screaming babies drowning him in drool and spit-up. Night after night he'd awaken, trembling and scared over the inevitable and then he'd feel disgusted with himself - because who thinks that way? Who marries somebody, discusses having children with them in the future, and then can't cope with the idea of becoming a dad when the times comes?

Well, obviously Kurt couldn't... and that's why Blaine left him.

::::::::::

It was after his accident at Finn and Rachel's. At first, Kurt tried his best to appease his husband by trying to be the best man he could be. He _was_ apologetic over what happened and he felt extremely guilty, but despite his anguish over what occurred, he still couldn't bring himself to even _look_ at Blaine's growing stomach, let alone touch it. That week his husband was in the hospital was the worst because while Blaine was getting better, Kurt was getting worse. Everyone noticed it, noticed the way Kurt could barely even stand to look at Blaine for long periods of time. They all saw how Kurt would shy away from any discussion about the pregnancy or how he'd deliberately take a phone call whenever one of the nurses would come in to check the monitor strapped around Blaine's belly.

By the fourth day of his stay in the hospital, Blaine knew that things weren't going to change. He and Kurt wouldn't be able to go back to what they were, not after this. The memories of the nasty things Kurt said to him were still fresh in his mind, plus there was the whole fact that his husband could barely look at him, so after Kurt went home one night, Blaine turned to his brother and told him, "I can't stay with him."

The next day, the married couple sat down and discussed the whole ordeal; it didn't go without a breakdown (Blaine) or a thousand apologies (Kurt.) After that, Kurt went back home to pack up Blaine's things and Cooper helped his brother contact a lawyer for the impending divorce.

Because that's where it led. A trial separation wouldn't mean jack shit if Kurt could never love their child and he was a million percent sure he couldn't as he apologized to Blaine over and over during their teary discussion.

So, two weeks after Blaine's accident, the family sadly stuffed all of Blaine's belongings into a u-haul and watched him, Cooper, and Jennycat drive off to Rhode Island, where they'd be living until Cooper's contract expired.

::::::::::

"Cooper?! Coop!"

The elder Anderson brother cracked his eyes open and groaned, pulling the covers over his head. He could hear his younger brother yelling his name, but he was way too tired to try to deal with the overly emotional pregnant man, so he did what he did best whenever Blaine hollered for him - he ignored him.

"Cooper! _Cooper,_ something's wrong!"

_That's_ what made the guy pop up out of bed. Fearful, he skidded out of his bedroom and down the hall to where Blaine's room was. The apartment was still cluttered, box upon box stacked in the halls, disruptive evidence of their move. Cooper sideswiped a container of Blaine's books and dashed into Blaine's room, frowning when he noticed his little brother hunched over on all fours on the bed, breaths loud and panting as he grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. "Blaine?"

"I think I'm in labor," the other man groaned out, tossing his head back for a second before he lowered it again to rest his chin against his chest. He swiveled his hips for a moment and then gasped as another contraction rippled through his body. "Can you call Carole and Burt and let them know? They'll want to fly out for this."

"They'll probably miss it. He's not supposed to be here for another three weeks!"

"Yeah well tell that to my body, okay? Just call them and then call Dr. Padro so we can go to the hospital. I don't want to... god, that hurt... I don't want to leave before we call them. We _promised_." The last part of his speech came out thick, his voice cracking, and Cooper nodded sadly, turning back to go get his phone out of his bedroom. He could hear his brother's whines from down the hall and he sped up, running into the other room to grab his cell so he could call his brother's ex-in-laws.

"Cooper? That you?" Burt grumbled. He was obviously still fast asleep; in Ohio it was only five in the morning, whereas in Los Angeles (where the brothers were living now), it was only around two 'o clock. "Anderson? Are you gonna answer me?"

"Blaine's in labor."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah. Umm, he wanted me to call you before we left for the hospital so that you and Carole could catch a flight. Sorry it's such short notice but the baby decided he wants to come _now_ and I don't think he's gonna wait."

"I can understand that. Kurt was an early baby too." There was some muffled talking on the other end and then Carole spoke up. "Tell Blaine that we'll be there as soon as possible. I've had bags packed since you told us you were moving to LA. We'll try to get there as soon as we can; tell him that we said good luck and that we love him."

"I will."

Burt snatched the phone back seconds later, "Carole's getting the tickets right now, so I'll call you when we figure out when we're gonna fly out or land or somethin'. Tell Blaine to take it easy, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I will."

"Okay. See you soon. Bye Cooper."

"Bye Mr. Hummel." The line clicked silent and Cooper sat back, sucking in a deep breath as he mentally thought of everything he would need to grab before he tried to shuffle his brother out of the house. Blaine already had a bag packed, so that was done. There also was a car seat in Cooper's car all ready to go, so that was set. Basically all they needed was to call Dr. Padro and head out, so Cooper went to do that, eyes widening when he spotted his brother leaning against the door frame, one hand rubbing his swollen belly while the other steadied his tired body against the wall.

"Coop?"

"Padro wants to know how close your contractions are. Like are they every fifteen minutes? Ten?"

Blaine looked thoughtful for just a second, eyes looking towards the ceiling in calculation. His face looked somewhat calm for the pain he was in earlier, but that all changed when he grimaced and hunched down low in the doorway, a growling moan erupting from his throat. "I... oh, god, I- I've been having pains since yesterday morning at breakfast, but I thought- I thought they were Braxton Hicks." Another groan. "They're, like, ten minutes apart... or less. I don't know." He gasped and squatted lower, hand slipping from the top of his belly to cradle the bottom. A hiss slipped through his teeth and Cooper rolled off of the bed, kneeling down beside of Blaine to gently rub his back. As he did so, he told the physician on the other line about Blaine's predicament and he was ordered to bring his brother to the hospital.

"Keep breathing, squirt. You've got this." Coop soothed as he kneaded his fist into Blaine's tightening back. He breathed along with his brother, smiling when the other man glared at him. "C'mon now. Don't give me that look. I'm only trying to help."

Once Blaine's contraction was over, he quickly helped him out to the car, grabbed his bag, made sure Jenny was fed and watered and that the apartment was locked up, and off they went. Off to have a _baby_.

::::::::::

Liam Elijah Anderson came into the world in the wee hours of the morning on June 27th, just a little over seven pounds and 20 inches long. He was born with a head full of hair, dark like Blaine's, and his eyes were blue like a stormy sky. When they handed him over to Blaine, the new father burst into tears at the sight of him and his little button nose. It looked so much like Kurt's that all Blaine could do was cry; cry for everything he'd lost and cry for the obvious reminders his son would give him of the love he once had. That day, sitting in the hospital all alone while Cooper went out to pick up the Hummels from the airport, Blaine cradled his son close and promised to love him enough for two daddies because that's what his child deserved, especially since his other father signed over all parental rights and wanted nothing to do with the baby anyway. It broke Blaine's heart, but he'd rather not have Kurt in Liam's life at all if the other man wasn't going to make an effort.

And he knew that effort would never ever happen.

::::::::::

Years flew by and Liam grew and grew, sprouting up to be a wild-haired, long-limbed kindergartener. He looked more like Kurt every single day and he had a ton of Kurt's facial expressions (which always brought a pang to Blaine's heart when he saw them.) His hair was curly like a mop top and mirrored Blaine's whenever he failed to gel his down. The difference between his hair and Liam's though was that Liam could run around with his hair all a mess; people thought it was adorable. If Blaine did it, he'd look homeless or like some sort of hippie, so he gelled his. Nonetheless, watching Liam grow up was an amazing thing. To be able to see your child, the human being _you_ created grow up and become their own little person made everything Blaine went through during the pregnancy worthwhile.

Yeah, he missed Kurt and yeah, he wished Liam's other dad would've been in his life, but they were doing just fine in their little apartment for two (and Jennycat.) Cooper now lived alone with a girl he'd met while filming a tv pilot a while back and to give him his space, Blaine and his then-preschooler moved into their own place. Blaine got a job singing at restaurants, which he did in the evenings while Cooper watched Liam, and he made decent money, enough to get by on basically.

Other than his uncle Coop, Liam did have a steady stream of people in his life. Blaine's parents came back into his life after Liam's birth after Cooper sent them a picture of the newborn. The whole Anderson family grew a little closer upon Liam's arrival, so things were good with them now. Liam also had his other grandparents - Kurt's parents, as well as his uncle Finn and aunt Rachel. All of them kept in contact with the little boy, being very careful to not overwhelm neither Kurt nor Blaine with info about the other. As far as Blaine knew, Kurt wasn't seeing anyone (neither was he) but that wasn't his main concern anyway. He just wondered if Kurt was happy most of the time.

_He_ was even though he did get a bit lonely sometimes.

::::::::::

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"When we get to Ohio can we eat at Breadstix?"

"Oh, Li, I dunno. Last time we ate there, your uncle Coop got sick."

"But I didn't! I was fine!" Liam pouted his little mouth, pushing his lower lip out dramatically as he gazed up at Blaine with his cobalt colored eyes. The two were standing in the airport terminal, hands linked with each other as they waited to board their plane. Around them, thousands of people hustled and bustled through LAX trying to get to where they needed to be before their flights boarded. The Christmas rush was insane and it was Blaine's least favorite thing to deal with, but he'd done it a million times since Liam was wee little, so he wasn't about to complain now. Smiling, he squeezed his son's hand and pulled him closer as the line to check-in moved. Liam was still talking about Breadstix, beaming up at his father as he talked about the sketti and meatballs he loved so much and all Blaine could do was roll his eyes and smirk.

"We'll see about Breadstix when we get there. Maybe your grandma Carole will take you? She loves sketti just as much as you do."

"I know!" Liam squealed, bouncing on his feet a little. Blaine couldn't help but chuckle at his child's enthusiasm, squeezing his son's tiny hand within his own as they handed off their boarding passes to the woman at the front desk and then began to board the place. "Daddy?"

Blaine re-entered the slow moving line, glancing down at his son as Liam leaned a bit to the side to take a look at the people getting on before them. "Yes, monkey?"

"I love you. I can't wait for sketti!"

Those words always warmed Blaine's heart, always thawed out the icy part of him that seemed to freeze over every single time he had to fly back to Ohio to drop off Liam in Lima. Driving to the Hummels' house only brought back memories of his relationship with Kurt and while he'd pushed away a lot of the pain after their divorce, he still thought about his ex-husband all the time.

Right now though, he was going to enjoy his flight home with his favorite person in the world and then they were going to go to grandma and grandpa Anderson's house and eat their weight in Christmas cookies, memories of Kurt be damned.

::::::::::

"Flight 373 to Columbus, Ohio is now boarding. Flight 373 to Columbus, Ohio is now boarding."

Kurt shouldered his carry-on bag and stood up, fingers tightly clenching the boarding pass as he shuffled into the line of people getting ready to get on the plane. In front of him was a couple and their daughter, the little girl holding a stuffed Statue of Liberty plush in her hand as she held onto her mother's fingers. The whole family dressed touristy, complete with the cliché _I Love NY _t-shirts, which made Kurt roll his eyes a little, but then he thought about when he was younger and how his parents did the same touristy things and he smiled, shuffling on his feet as the line moved forward.

He was going home for Christmas this year as a surprise for his family.

For years, he spent the holidays in NYC. Finn and Rachel, who lived not too far away from him, stayed home sometimes and then Burt and Carole would fly upstate to see them, but occasionally everyone would celebrate back in Ohio and Kurt would stay in the city, working hard and keeping himself occupied enough that he didn't notice how lonely he was.

It had been years since he last heard from his ex-husband. As much as he knew, Blaine gave birth and was raising the baby (now a child... god, where had the time gone?) back in Los Angeles. He knew that his family kept in touch with them; they saw Blaine and the little boy, who Kurt knew was named Liam, every once in a while and Blaine sent them photos and called them regularly. Kurt, however, had never seen a photo of the kid. He'd opted to not know anything about him, minus the name, and when the baby was born, he signed over his parental rights and moved on.

Though he did think about them every once in a while.

Sometimes he wondered what his (no, not his... _Blaine's_) son might look like. He wondered if the boy had any of his mannerisms or looks or if he was all Blaine through and through. Some nights he'd wake up, a phantom feeling of someone tucked against him, their growing belly pressed against his back, and he'd roll over, expecting to find Blaine there, but instead he'd come up with nothing. Sure, he had boyfriends and everything since the divorce, but no one made him feel the way Blaine did, so nothing ever came of it.

And he was pretty damn positive he'd grow old alone.

Sighing, he made his way onto the airplane and took his seat in the first class, staring out of the window as other people continued boarding. Outside, light flurries sparkled in the air and Kurt smiled to himself, pleased with the surprise he was about to spring on his family.

They'd be shocked to say the least. Kurt Hummel was coming back to Lima for the first time in _years_.

::::::::::

Driving through his old hometown was a nostalgic act indeed. The place had barely changed since the last time he was there, minus a few new gas stations and hot spots. The streets were still littered with potholes, the air smelled of burnt wood, and there was snow everywhere. As he drove, Kurt hoped he didn't wreck the rental car (even though he got insurance for it) and when he _finally_ got to his parents' house, he made sure to park across the street so no one recognized him.

_Like they'd recognize you. They don't even know you're here and this car's a rental_.

Rolling his eyes at his thoughts, Kurt grabbed his bag (leaving the rest of his luggage in the trunk) and made his way to the front door, smiling at the lights and other holiday decorations that lit up the front part of the house. "They really went all out this year," he mused, studying the inflatable snowglobe in the front yard before he walked up the steps and knocked on the door. Before he could finish knocking, the skidding sound of someone running could be heard on the other side and Kurt opened his mouth to offer a greeting, everything freezing in his throat when the door swung open and the person - no, _child_ - on the other side screamed, "Daddy!"

Like a scene out of a movie, both Kurt and the boy froze solid, staring at each other in shock - the boy because he had no idea who the person was at the front door and Kurt because he knew _exactly_ who he was looking at. It was obvious who this mysterious kid was. It was like he was staring directly at the childhood version of himself... himself with _Blaine's_ hair. "Holy shit."

"That's a bad word. My dad says we aren't supposed to say those." The child (_Liam_, Kurt's mind added) said, squinting his blue eyes at the man before him. "Who are you?"

"Liam-"

"No, that's my name."

A voice on the other side of the house yelled and Kurt looked up, eyes widening when he saw his dad come running into the entryway. "Liam Elijah, you know damn well that you're supposed to wait for grandpa before you-" The words died on his lips when he saw Kurt standing in the doorway and immediately, the man paused. "Ummm..."

"Hi?"

"Kurt, uh... I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah. Uh, it was supposed to be a... a surprise."

Liam stood between the two men, eyes flicking back and forth as he watched their surprised expressions go from shocked to sad to angry and then to a whole bunch of different looks. Frowning, he let go of the door handle and slowly made his way over to Burt, his eyes never leaving the other man's. "Grandpa, who is this?"

"Buddy, why don't you go in the kitchen and help your grandma with the cookies? I bet she'll let you have one if you ask nicely."

Distracted by the thought of sweets, the little boy beamed, skipping away to the kitchen, leaving the two Hummel men alone in the foyer.

"Dad?"

"If I would've known you were coming in, I would've asked Blaine to bring him by later. I didn't-"

"It's okay. I should've called."

"I know you said you didn't want to meet him, but god, bud, I'm sorry. I couldn't get to the door that fast. He just shot out of there like a light; he runs like the damn roadrunner! Blaine's on his way to get him right now and-"

"Blaine's coming?"

Burt's expression softened. He knew the end of the marriage really broke Kurt (even though he was the one who cemented it basically) and that his son would always have feelings for his ex-husband, but hearing the soft bit of _hope_ in Kurt's voice really made his heart twinge. "Yeah. He was going to come over for dinner and then he and Liam were going to go back to the Andersons for Christmas."

"He's talking to them now?"

"Yeah, they reconnected after Liam was born. Cooper told them about the baby and the... divorce and they wanted to see him. It's all worked out now, I guess, and they love their grandson, so as long as everyone's happy, I- umm, you know, am happy for him."

Kurt nodded, slowly slipping off his bag to set against the wall. He looked around the house and blushed when he noticed the various pictures hung up on the walls in the hallway. There were photos of him as a baby and as a teen, him and Blaine on their wedding day, Finn in all various stages of growing up, Finn and Rachel on their wedding day, and... photos of Liam. There was one of him as a baby, just several months old, smiling this huge gummy smile while he clapped his hands as someone off-screen blew bubbles at him. He was so little with dark curls that stuck up all over his tiny head and he had the cutest little chubby cheeks.

It broke Kurt's heart to look at it. Because he missed out on that. That baby in the picture was grown now.

"He's really... beautiful."

"Yeah, he's a great kid. Reminds me a lot of you when you were his age." Burt stepped forward, moving to stand beside of Kurt as his son looked at the pictures and took off his outerwear. "He climbs on everything though, so he definitely got that from Blaine, but most of his actions seem to be things he inherited from you."

"Does he... does he know about me?" Kurt asked. Honestly, he had to know. He was curious. The boy he met just moments before stared at him so quizzically that Kurt wondered if he even knew that he had another father... unless he already did. Like if Blaine had remarried or had a serious boyfriend or something.

Beside him, Burt shook his head. "Blaine hasn't told him yet. Or at least not much. He said that if Liam asks, he'll tell him about you one day, but that he'd let him know that he's not to contact you since you signed him over." Kurt's mouth opened like he wanted to respond, but Burt continued on. "He said he'd never say anything negative about you so calm down a sec before you say anything about that. From what Blaine's told me, he's just going to tell Liam that you needed some time to yourself and he won't say anything else. I told him - Blaine, I mean - that if he wants me to talk to Liam about you, I can, but I'm not sure what'll happen. As far as I know, Liam knows he has another dad, but he doesn't know it's you. He just thinks your Uncle Finn's brother and that's that. I don't think he's caught on that your his dad or his _Uncle_ Kurt or whatever."

A knot welled up in Kurt's throat and he looked down at his feet, shaking his head as he thought about Blaine having to someday explain to that adorable little boy in there that his other daddy _didn't want him_. God, he hated even thinking about it. Because who does that? Who doesn't want their own child? _You didn't_, his mind supplied and he scowled, glancing back up to study the pictures on the wall. In another one, Liam was sitting in a high chair, face covered in icing while Blaine knelt beside of him, both of them wearing huge grins while wearing _Baby's 1st birthday_ hats. Another piece of his heart chipped and fell off and he stepped back, moving to put his coat on the rack by the door. "Is he happy?" He asked, voice soft, sad.

Burt crossed his arms over his chest and studied his son's broken expression. "Liam or Blaine?" When Kurt didn't answer, he continued. "Truthfully, they're both happy, I think. Liam's spoiled rotten and Blaine loves him to pieces, so I guess they're good. They're good for each other really. Whenever they're not around everybody else, they're all each other's got, so-"

"Blaine doesn't live with Cooper anymore?"

"Nah. Cooper has a girlfriend he's living with and Blaine lives on his own somewhere out there in LA. I haven't been there to visit yet; I've only seen the place Coop lives in, but Liam says the new place's nice and I believe him."

"I see." For the next several minutes, Kurt went back to looking at the pictures of Liam that were hanging on the wall. In the kitchen, he could hear the little boy chatting up a storm with Carole and he knew he should at least head into to see her before (or _if_) he decided to leave, but he just couldn't tear his eyes away from the photos of the child he helped create. Next to him, his dad watched on sadly as his own child got lost in a world he didn't want to be a part of. Neither one of them heard the sound of someone knocking on the front door.

But they did notice a flash of red as an incredibly excited kindergartener came streaking past them to open the door.

"Liam!" Carole shouted, running as fast as she could after the boy who escaped her grasp. She immediately skidded to a halt when she saw Kurt standing in the hallway and then, as in slow motion (once more), the front door opened and on the other side was none other than Blaine Anderson himself.

"Daddy!" Liam shrieked, hopping up to wrap his arms around his father's legs. Blaine knelt down to scoop him up and when he was finally standing with Liam in his arms, his eyes landed on a pair of sad blue eyes that he'd missed seeing so freaking much.

"...Kurt? What-"

"I came in for Christmas." The other man whispered, looking between his ex-husband and the child who was currently hugging him breathless. "Hi Blaine."

"Umm, hi?"

"Kurt just got in. I guess he was planning on surprising us for the holiday," Burt said, doing his best to defuse whatever situation was about to occur. Blaine was watching his ex with a shadowed look on his face and Liam, who was still clinging to his dad, was currently watching the whole family with interest. "He just got here about, umm... twenty minutes ago?"

A strange look flashed on Blaine's face (to Kurt, it looked dangerous) but then it faded away and he gently set Liam down on the floor, crossing his arms over his chest once Liam was out of his arms and making his way back into the kitchen. "Liam, where are you going?"

"To get another cookie. Grandma and I made gingabread men and we made one like you, daddy."

Carole, in all her intuitive motherly glory, gently guided her grandson out of the room to let the men talk and once she was gone, Blaine did exactly that. "So, this was a surprise?"

"I thought I'd come home this Christmas instead of staying home and working. I didn't know you'd be in." Kurt watched his ex carefully, gauging the tense way Blaine was holding his mouth as he stared back. "I can leave so you guys can have dinner. Mercedes and Sam are in town and I was going to catch up with them eventually, but I can try-"

"You don't have to leave. You just got here. Liam and I can go. My parents are expecting us back later tonight anyway, but we can head back early. It's still a two hour drive and-"

"No, you brought him here to spend time with his grandparents. I'm not going to ruin that."

"But you haven't been here in years, so you should stay. I can bring Li back another day-"

"Blaine, honestly-"

Burt smirked as the two of them bickered with one another over who was going to leave. For a moment, he thought something bad was going to happen, like Blaine was going to explode over having Kurt there, but instead, it was like the two of them had never quit talking all those years ago and that they were just having a minor marital disagreement. Of course, the lack of wedding bands on their fingers and the fact that they were both completely different human beings now brought Burt back to reality. Clearing his throat, he stepped forward, smiling at the two men before him. "Why don't you both stay for dinner? We can have a meal together like we used to and then Blaine, you can do whatever you want. Same with you, Kurt. There's enough here for everyone."

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Blaine whispered, eyes closing as he tightened his crossed arms a little more. "If having me and Liam here is uncomfortable, then we shouldn't stay. I don't want to ruin-"

"You wouldn't be-" Kurt interrupted, blue eyes widening when Blaine stopped to just _look_ at him. The eye contact was _intense_ and it reminded him of when they would just stare at each other way back in the day, having conversations with just their sight alone. _He missed those days_. "-ruining anything, I mean."

"Kurt, you don't have-"

"Just stay. Please?"

The small amount of pleading in his voice made Blaine woozy, but he really thought about it. Liam wouldn't want to leave, not without spending just a few more hours his grandparents, and he himself really wanted to hang out with Burt and Carole for a bit too, no matter how awkward it was going to be being around his ex-husband. Frowning, he nodded his head, agreeing to stay even though his stomach flipped at the thought and when he did, Kurt mentally cheered.

Because if he didn't know any better, he missed Blaine a _whole_ lot more than he ever thought he did.

::::::::::

"You have pretty eyes. My daddy says my eyes are pretty, but yours are better."

Kurt looked up, staring across the table at the little boy sitting next to Blaine. Liam was grinning at him, little white teeth flashing in the light as he tilted his head (_god, that's all Blaine right there_) to take a closer look at Kurt's face. For a second, he scrunched his tiny nose, tilting his head more before he sat back and went to finish eating his meatloaf. Kurt's heart pounded so much that he could feel it in his throat and when he glanced over at Blaine, he felt his throat tighten over how _sad_ his ex looked over what Liam said.

"Thank you," he finally whispered back, earning yet another grin (this time closed mouth since the boy was still chewing) before Liam went back to digging into his mashed potatoes. "Your eyes are pretty too. So is your hair."

Liam swallowed, beaming once more as he reached up to pat his curls. "I have daddy's hair! Uncle Coop said I'm gonna have a fo-" Blaine corrected him, "-an afro when I'm older and then I can go to the... umm, disco!" His excitement made Kurt laugh and his eyes flicked over at Blaine again, watching as the younger man sighed.

"You are definitely your father's child. Too cute," he breathed out, freezing when he realized what he said. Burt and Carole shared a small smile with one another while Blaine observed the food on his plate like it was the most interesting thing in the room. "Umm... are you in school?" As he continued his questions, the rest of the family grew more curious, especially Blaine. _Because what was Kurt doing?_

"Yeah! I'm in kindagarten! We paint and sing songs and watch movies and eat snacks and it's the best. I love it. We had a Christmas play and I was an angel and daddy said I was good. Right daddy?"

"Right," Blaine said softly, smiling at his son before he leaned over and wiped a bit of gravy from the corner of the boy's mouth. Liam bounced a little bit in his seat and then grabbed his dinner roll, carefully tearing it into tiny little pieces before he began to scoop his mashed potatoes up with it to eat. Kurt watched him, awe sparkling his features because that's how _he_ ate his food as well - he'd just been getting ready to destroy the roll in his hand when he stopped to watch Liam tear up his.

It was so strange.

"So," Carole started, reaching out to touch Kurt's arm. "How's work been? Did you guys get out the issue in time?"

The question completely went in one ear and out the other until Kurt felt his stepmother squeeze his arm gently, her light eyes sparkling with mirth as she stared at him. "Oh, what? You asked about work? I... umm, yeah, it's been okay. We got the last issue out and everything got printed. The website got finished on time too, thank god. I swear our interns aren't the brightest crayons in the box, but they do get stuff done."

"That's great."

"So you still work at Vogue?" A previously quiet voice asked and Kurt looked up, locking eyes with Blaine. His heart thudded hard in his chest and a knot welled in his throat. Every little feeling he swore he'd let go of following their divorce came smashing into him like a train and he opened and closed his mouth several times as the words within him struggled to come out.

"Y-Yeah I'm st-still at Vogue. I got moved up. I work alongside Isabelle as her partner now instead of being one step below her."

"So you must make good money then? That doesn't surprise me," Blaine said, poking his fork into his green beans. "You were always one of the best, most hard-working employees they had." Once the words were out of his mouth, Blaine turned beet red with mortification "I, uh-"

"Daddy? Daddy, can I have some more milk please? And another roll?" Liam stared hungrily at the plate of bread on the table, which was sitting closer to Kurt, and Blaine nodded, reaching out to grab the jug of milk to pour his son another glass. "Umm, can I have a roll?" The question was this time directed at Kurt and the other man panicked, shooting a look at Blaine to see whether or not he could hand him a piece of bread.

"I-"

"He can have one. He really likes bread." _Kinda like you_, Blaine wanted to add, but he just kept on pouring the milk. Kurt slid the bread bowl over to Liam, watching as the child happily took two more rolls from the container before he began immediately tearing into them, using them as potato scoops instead of a spoon. Across from him, Kurt quietly did the same and the rest of the table watched as the father-son duo ate with a grace that could only be described as _strange_.

The rest of the meal went on pretty smoothly. Liam stayed busy eating his fill of rolls and potatoes, Blaine stared at his plate the whole time (when he wasn't telling Liam to slow down before he'd choke), Kurt watched his ex and child silently, and Burt and Carole wondered if things were about to change.

::::::::::

Usually after dinner came coffee and some dessert, but the whole table opted to wait a bit for anything else to eat since they had their fill on good food. Tiredly, the group went to relax in the living room, prepping for an evening of talking (and catching up for Kurt and Blaine, as awkward as that seemed), and Liam curled up on the couch beside his father, happy to watch a Christmas special on tv while the adults talked. Within minutes, he was out like a light, head resting on Blaine's lap while his father stroked his messy hair.

"That didn't take very long at all," Burt joked, nodding his head at the sleeping child on the couch. Carole smiled and got up, pulling a throw blanket off of the chair Kurt was in to lay over Liam's long body, tucking him in so he wouldn't get cold.

"It was a long trip out there. We flew out this morning, drove from the airport to my parents', saw them for a bit, then drove up here. He didn't have time to take a nap today so he'll probably sleep good tonight. Thank god," the young father mused and Kurt sucked in a deep breath, eyes opening a little wider as he looked at Blaine in a new light. Just watching his ex-husband talk about Liam was crazy. The last time Blaine talked about him (around Kurt, that is) that much was when he was still pregnant with him. Kurt could remember the nights Blaine would sit on the couch at their house, quietly talking to his belly while Jennycat nuzzled his arm. Sometimes Blaine would try to get Kurt to come sit with him and talk to the baby and a couple of times, he did, but those last few weeks they were together, he would instead go off to their room and listen while Blaine talked all by himself.

Now, the more he thought about it, the more disgusted with himself he was.

Blaine was a natural born father. For a while, he swore up and down Kurt would be too, but Kurt never saw it that way. Even though the second he noticed Liam was fast asleep, he thought about taking the blanket out from behind him to tuck around the child... and those thoughts scared the shit out of him.

"Do you guys want some spice cake now? We have that and coffee. I also have sugar cookie creamer if you'd like. It's limited edition and there's only two more days until Christmas so we should enjoy the flavor!" Carole was rambling, they all knew she was, but Burt could see right through her plan and he liked it.

"I could take some cake. What about you boys?"

Blaine looked like he was ready to deny it, but Carole beat him to the punch, smiling brightly as she stood up and went off to the kitchen. Burt quickly followed, calling over his shoulder that he'd be right back with the drinks and then Kurt, Blaine, and Liam were left alone in the living room, the soft sound of music playing in the background (from the tv) while the lights on the Christmas tree twinkled.

"Are you ready for Christmas?" Kurt asked, doing his best to kill the stuffy silence that he could feel around him and Blaine. His ex bit his lip for a moment, like he was debating on even answering Kurt's question before he finally did.

"I almost wasn't, to be honest. I used most of my paycheck on our rent this month and then Liam had his Christmas pageant and everything, so I had to pay for that and get his secret Santa gift for class. By the time that was all done, I barely had anything left to get presents for him. Thank god for your parents and mine though. Liam's spoiled enough as it is, but he's definitely going to have way too much this Christmas."

Hearing how much his ex was struggling made Kurt's heart drop. His Christmases were always the same. He'd buy an expensive gift for his dad, Carole, Rachel, and Finn and then that was it. He didn't decorate (didn't feel the need to), didn't cook (he ordered out instead), and even though he had tons of money, there really wasn't much he could do with it since he had everything he ever wanted (_except love_, his brain hissed.) He'd donate to various charities and move on, but now that he thought about it, he could've been sending money to Blaine every month for child support. However, in their attempt to break things off as cleanly as possible, Kurt signed over his rights and Blaine didn't ask for any support. Neither of them wanted anything to do with the other... and now... now Kurt wondered how much his ex really struggled with trying to raise their little boy.

_Oh shit, he called Liam 'theirs.'_

"What about you?" Blaine whispered, fingers trailing against Liam's scalp as he pushed the little boy's hair back. With his curls out of his face, he looked even more like Kurt and the pain that rippled through the older man's heart grew more intense.

"I don't really celebrate Christmas. I just stay in, get together with dad and Carole or Rachel and Finn if they're in and that's that. Then the next day, I go back to work. I don't do holidays."

"I wouldn't do them either. They're rough really, especially when money's tight. But Liam loves them. He loves every single major holiday honestly. Thanksgiving is his favorite though-"

_Because he loves to eat,_ Kurt mused, eyes locked on the napping child across from him. "He gets that from you," he breathed, smiling when he caught Blaine's eye. "You are the only person I know of who really likes almost every single holiday."

"Yeah... well, I used to. Now they're just chores."

"Even when he loves them?"

"I-" Blaine stopped, words stuck in his throat. "I... well, I guess you're right there. As long as he's happy, then I'm happy. Nothing else matters."

"But are you really happy?"

For a moment, Blaine stayed lost in his thoughts, eyes focusing on something beyond Kurt's shoulder. A minute or two later, the amber orbs came back to lock with Kurt's and he spoke, face passive. "I don't know. I guess? I'm happy when he's happy and he's _always_ happy, but California really isn't... it doesn't-"

"Feel like home?"

"Yeah."

"I understand. New York doesn't feel that way anymore either."

"...and when did that stop?"

Kurt knew the second those words slipped from Blaine's lips what his ex was asking him. _Are you happy? Do you miss me? Do you regret what happened? _He dropped his gaze, "About six years ago." A sharp intake of breath brought him to look back up and when he spotted Blaine's eyes filling with tears, he couldn't help but start talking more. "You know, six years ago I was scared. When I think about back then and the things I did, I regret them all the time. I've tried... I've tried to date and meet someone new, but there's always been somebody else who occupies my thoughts at night. There's always somebody else I miss more than anything and there's a part of him that's also a part of me that I was _terrified_ to deal with back then that I see now and wonder _what the hell was I thinking?_

"I just- I was an idiot, Blaine. I let you go without even fighting for us, without even giving _him_ a chance and I've despised myself for it for years and it wasn't until tonight that I realized what all I missed."

"Kurt-"

"Seeing you tonight really put things into focus for me. Seeing Liam for the first time, seeing how well you've done raising him on your own... it just- it really cemented for me how perfect you are to be a dad. I'm... I'm really proud of you."

Blaine sniffled, shaking his head as he looked down at Liam with a broken look. "I had help."

"But not that much. Dad said you are living on your own with him and that's really admirable. You love him so much and it's amazing."

"I do love him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Good. I'm glad."

The men went silent, listening to the sounds around them as they both continued to watch Liam sleep, his mouth open as he breathed quietly in time with the feeling of his dad's fingers brushing back his hair. Kurt continued to openly watch them, heart thawing out at the sight of what he'd given up so many years ago. He could've had this. He could've been a part of that.

_Maybe he could still be a part of it?_

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"I know this is too straightforward, but... can we- can we try to be friends again?"

"Kurt, I- I don't know. I can't be friends with you _and_ raise Liam. He'll start asking questions as he gets older. He was already looking at you weird earlier and-"

"Then we can tell him about us. I don't care. I just... I miss you."

"I-"

"We don't have to jump back into being best friends. We're far too different for that, but I- I want to get to know you again... and him, if you'll let me. And I want to help."

"I don't want your money," Blaine growled out, protective walls flying up around his heart as he glared at his ex-husband. Almost six years had gone by and _now_ Kurt wanted to help him. _Now_ Kurt wanted to (possibly) be a part of his child's life. _Now_ after so long. "I don't want-"

"I have more money than I know what to do with. It's... tough because I want to help people and I donate to charity all the time, but when I really think about it, there's someone out there that I had a hand in creating that could use this money more. If you don't want it, maybe I can put it in a college fund for him? I just... I- please let me do this."

"Why now? Why after six years do you want to talk to us? Why didn't you come around sooner?"

"Because I never saw him then. I kept telling myself that I was better off being alone, that I was better off being a bachelor and yet I _missed_ you. I've... I've had dreams that feel so _real_ where I'm laying in bed and I can _feel_ you, but then you're not there. I've dreamt about both of you, of what he'd look like, and yet I told myself that I didn't want this, didn't want a family. But tonight, when Liam answered the door, he thought it was you at first and he called me _daddy_ and I _knew_. I knew it was him and I knew what I was missing. I felt it right _here_," he placed his hand over his heart.

Blaine continued to glare at him, though his anger was waning. His eyes were still watery as hell, but he looked sadder now compared to the rage that flowed through him just seconds before. He choked out a shuddery breath, "Liam asks about you. He wants to know about his other dad all the time. I'm the only single father in his class and his friends ask me about his other dad too. I just... I always say that he's busy and he'll move on after that, but I'm scared for when he gets old enough that he wants to know the details... and I can't just tell him what I've been saying lately."

"You can tell him about me though-"

"No, I can't. Because I don't want to tell him about his dad when there's the possibility that his dad, who says he wants to get to know us _now_, will suddenly panic again and then run off. I can't let him get hurt like that. I've protected him this long. I _can't _let him get hurt."

Nodding, Kurt linked his hands over his stomach. Blaine's words burned into his skin; he could completely understand his ex's fears. He'd panicked on Blaine twice up until they divorced and there would always be that lingering fear in Blaine's mind that he'd do it again. But, if he had to, he'd take it slow. That's why he wanted to be friends; that's why he wanted to get to know this _new_ daddy version Blaine _and_ Liam first and he'd do what he could to convince Blaine of it.

"Could you just... think about it? I can give you my number and we can talk more about this later? After you've thought about it for a bit."

The younger man's lips pursed together slightly, but he agreed nonetheless, reaching his hand into his pocket to pull out his phone. Kurt rattled off his cell number, cheeks warm as he watched Blaine punch the number into his phone. From where he sat, he could see how much Blaine had changed; how his hair was a little longer (and not as gelled down), how he was a little more muscular, and definitely tanner. He looked gorgeous. California (and fatherhood) was good to him. "I'll text you after I think about it for a while," Blaine said and Kurt shook his head in understanding, sitting back in his seat as his dad and Carole came back into the room with plates of cake and cups of steaming coffee.

He didn't miss the look his dad gave him and when he smiled softly, the elder Hummel grinned back knowingly.

::::::::::

The rest of the evening was spent talking about Liam's school and his eventual ascent into elementary school next fall. Neither Burt nor Carole could believe that time had flown by that fast and Kurt himself was shocked that it had been five years since Liam's birth (almost six since his birthday would be coming around in June.) The whole time they talked, Liam slept on, cuddled up against Blaine's leg while his dad carefully sipped his coffee and nibbled on his spice cake.

Around ten, Blaine began to fidget, glancing at the clock every so often as it got later and later. Finally, he broke the conversation to announce that he had to get on the road, so Burt and Carole took the empty plates and cups back to the kitchen before they came back to see Blaine out. In the meantime, Kurt followed his ex out as the man carried Liam to the front door, settling the sleepy-eyed child on the steps while he gathered his coat, hat, and gloves.

"Monkey? Can you lift up your arms?" Blaine murmured, smirking when his son dipped forward and leaned against his chest.

"Does he do that a lot?" Kurt asked, eyes lovingly watching the way the father and son before him interacted. Blaine was so _gentle_ with Liam, carefully sliding his limp arms into the sleeves of his coat before he zipped him up and slid on his gloves. Once that was over, the man tugged Liam's hat over his curly hair and covered up his ears, bending down to scoop up the little boy once he was all bundled up and ready to go. That's when Kurt noticed that Blaine himself had bundled up as well - how he did it? Kurt would never know, but he could definitely tell that Blaine was used to dealing with something like this as he was so quick and professional at it. It was awe-inspiring really.

"Let's say goodbye to grandma and grandpa, Li-Li." Burt and Carole stepped forward to give their half-asleep grandson a hug and a kiss goodbye before they did the same to Blaine and then everyone stepped back, leaving Kurt and Blaine staring at each other in the hall. "Umm, it was nice seeing you." Blaine said softly, stepping closer to the door.

Kurt agreed, "Yeah. You too." But before Blaine could even step outside, Liam jerked in his arms, whining as he lifted his head from his dad's shoulder to look at Kurt.

"He didn't give me a hug!"

The family all glanced at each other, especially Burt and Carole, and then Carole remarked that it was just like Liam to take after Blaine, always wanting to be hugged by everyone. At that, Blaine blushed and Liam grumbled again, leaning out of his dad's arms to reach out to Kurt. Hesitantly, Kurt stepped forward, worried that Blaine would panic and step away, but Blaine remained still, focus completely on his ex and son and the way they were about interact. Hands waving, Liam clasped his tiny arms around Kurt's neck, hugging him tightly before he leaned over and kissed Kurt's cheek.

A knot instantly welled in Kurt's throat as he felt Liam pull away and it was only until after the boy was settled back in Blaine's arms that he realized that he'd wrapped his own arms around Liam just as tightly as the boy hugged him. The smell of cherries still lingered in his nose (Liam's shampoo obviously) and the feeling of his lips on Kurt's slightly stubbly cheek made his heart swell ridiculously.

"Goodbye," Liam said softly, waving at the family as Blaine stepped out of the front door and out into the ice cold night. Flurries trickled out of the sky and stuck to their hats as Blaine slowly walked to the car and once he got Liam all buckled into his booster seat in the back, he turned to wave at everyone, climbing into the car shortly after. He was seconds away from backing out when he rolled down the window and shouted out, "Liam wants to say something!"

Liam, sitting in the back seat with his arms waving, shouted out, "Bye! I love you!" And then they were off, on their way to Westerville and back to the Anderson household. As soon as their car was out of sight, Kurt walked into the house and went straight upstairs, leaning against the wall in the main hallway as the heavy feelings he felt in his chest threatened to weigh him down. He _missed_ Blaine. He still _loved_ Blaine and after tonight he was sure he _loved_ Liam too.

What a holiday _miracle_ indeed.

::::::::::

Christmas came and went. Finn and Rachel flew in from the city and the whole clan had a lovely holiday. Liam skyped his grandparents from the Andersons for a little bit, laughing and cheering when he opened his presents and showed everyone what he got, and by the end of the night, everyone was still talking about how excited the little one got over the toy drum set Finn bought him.

"Blaine's going to kill you, you know? Liam's gonna play the hell out of those drums and Blaine'll go right up the wall."

Finn laughed at his mom and snuck a few more cookies from the tray in the middle of the table. Rachel sat next to him, quietly watching Kurt as he stared at the Christmas tree and watched the lights twinkle in their dancing motion. She thought about asking her friend if he was alright; she knew a lot had happened in the last few days, but she also knew that Kurt liked his privacy and he probably wouldn't want to talk about what happened anyway. Burt and Carole also kept their eye on Kurt, watching as his facial expression changed every time someone mentioned Liam or Blaine. It was obvious that the two had talked during their time alone, but neither grandparent was sure what went down, so they didn't ask. Only time would tell what happened and they'd wait patiently if that meant the couple would eventually get back together and be the family they were supposed to be.

"So, Kurt, did you like your-"

A loud dinging interrupted Finn's words and Kurt jumped, reaching across the coffee table to grab his glowing phone. Onscreen showed where he'd gotten a text from some random number, so he opened it, expecting to find some message from someone at Vogue. However, when he read the words, he knew _exactly_ who it was from and he was _elated_.

**From Unknown Number: **I'm ready to try again and be friends if you are. Also, Liam says hello. Well he said he wants me to tell the man with the pretty eyes he said hello. So... hi. Merry Christmas!

* * *

**A/N: Whew, that was a long one. I hope you liked it. I have another chapter (different prompt) almost written for this and then I've got the epilogue for MBGAS almost done. TSB has another update that is going really, really slow, but I'll try to get that updated soon too. Anyway, what'd ya think?**


End file.
